Casandra Barnes - The Blooming Yogini
"Fear keeps us focused on the past or worried about the future. If we can acknowledge our fear, we can realize that right now we are okay. Right now, today, we are still alive, and our bodies are working marvelously. Our eyes can still see the beautiful sky. Our ears can still hear the voices of our loved ones."
Thich Nhat Hanh
I was so focused on the goal, I lost my focus or my "why" I was after my goal in the first place. I was so worried about the future, trying to make sure I saved enough, that i was enough, that i researched enough, so i could be enough. ENOUGH, already. I was missing what made me strive for my goal, what made me passionately fall in love. Sometimes life is like that isn't it? We get so anxious about the future, or focused on the past, we miss what is going on in the present moment.
There's a saying that “The very pose you are avoiding is the one you need the most.” I was avoiding my whole practice all together. Who was I? To think i could do a teacher training, to be a teacher, to go deeper into my practice. I cannot do a head or handstand. I cannot fly my peacock, pigeon, or crow. I am not the long and lean dancer/yogi. Grace is most certainly NOT my middle name. And i've been losing it. All around me was buzzing, and I was about to lose my shit. Get on your mat, I would tell myself. But would I listen? No. I had one more thing to do. One more thing to get done, then, THEN i would be the stellar yogi i could be, or try to be and get on my mat.
Why do we do this? When "this" happens i'll be happy. When I accomplish "that" I'll be happy. When I move "here" it will make me happier. When I achieve "this" THEN i can do THAT. Bullshit. I have always said the grass is always greener where you water it. Quit looking over the fence at someone else's yard (handstand, crow, body type, whatever it may be), and water your own. I must remember to water my own yard. To take care of this mind and body of my own in the way I can, not the way someone else does. We are all on our own path, but if we don't take the steps, that is not much of a journey, nor will you ever reach the destination, unless your destination is just plain stuck. And i've been stuck, I don't like it, so i choose to keep walking the path. I guess i'll consider this a small set back and keep on moving, just a little rest and refocus on the park bench of life.
“Let yourself be silently drawn by the strange pull of what you really love. It will not lead you astray.”
We are all works in progress, my hope is that we may all bloom to our full potential, to be our radiant selves, so that our light may brighten others.
A Blooming Yogini is someone on a journey to their authentic self, a union of mind, body and spirit to a more healthy, thriving , and vibrant you.
Live. Love. Bloom.