Yes, I am aware of all of the crazy jargon that tends to fall out of my mouth lately, “energy”, “auras”, “doshas”, and today we will use “Chakra”. What is a Chakra? Oh good, I’m so glad you asked.
noun: chakra; plural noun: chakras
So last week I was feeling a bit off. What does "off" mean exactly? Well my confidence felt shaky, I seemed weighted and tired, and I was OVERLY emotional. I know, I know, it sounds like PMS, right? That would be a simple “man” answer, but it was more than that. I felt lonely in my own skin, alienated. I felt frustrated and powerless to change my situation. It also affected my yoga practice and my writing. I mean who was I to write about something that I was only a novice at. Because I loved something so much, because it changed my life, who the hell was I. I was feeling lost. So through some friends, I luckily found a lovely lady named Angi Bunny. Angi Bunny is a Reiki practitioner; I had only heard of Reiki and never really seen it performed. So with blind faith and an open mind I made my appointment immediately to get my chakras aligned, opened, dusted, whichever, they were hollering for attention and I listened.
I arrived not knowing what to expect, all she asked was that I have an open mind (check), that I be comfortable (check), and to clear my mind (annnnnd that’s not always so easy to do). I lay on the table and closed my eyes while soothing music played and lights were low, then she began. She placed her hands upon my head and started with the 7th chakra, when she got to my throat (5th chakra) I began to see colors, she had advised that I may, so I took it for whatever it was worth. Lots of blues jumping in and out of view sometimes a splash of yellow and then words on page as if being pulled thru a feed and quickly. She continued thru the chakras and then I flipped and she did my back. Now mind you in Reiki you are fully clothed, it’s not your typical massage, it’s more like an energy massage, to get things moving where they were stagnant as well as address problems found. So after we were done, we talked and she gave me some homework to work on my problem areas, which for me were the 3rd and 4th chakra (oddly enough, or maybe not odd at all, those are exactly where we house this self –esteem and the loneliness thing I was battling). The colors that I saw? The blues, when she was over my throat, this is the color of this chakra, so again not so surprising that this was the color I saw, with bursts of yellow (color of the 3rd chakra) she advised that I need to make a connection between the two and this may open the 4th chakra as well. In layman’s terms, “get your heart right, girl and know your danged worth, P.S. GET SOME SLEEP”.
Meditations and affirmations can help and I’ve been practicing those each night before bed, but then I went to yoga on Saturday, and not just your typical yoga class, this was Aerial yoga. It was my first time, and I was nervous (I got this thing about being upside down and possibly falling on my head, so yeah this seemed perfect for me <rolls eyes>) but I do love trying new things so again with open mind and sweaty palms, there I was. Our Instructor was so patient, Thank God, and showed us carefully how to get into poses in the “hammock” and more importantly how to get out of the pose! Like I said I have this “hang up” about being upside down but this class let some fear fall to the way side. I felt more confident, less fear, less judgmental of myself, more forgiving of myself. I was hooked, it opened up some poses for me that tend to be more difficult to get into, and I felt so free just floating there. It definitely was a good exercise for the chakras. (In fact I cried in gratitude the whole way home). As we laid in savasana (corpse pose) looking like a room full of pod people, I grinned ear to ear, and I realized each day that I practice my gratitude grows. There you go Casandra, get back on your mat.
Truth: I had been slacking the last two weeks in my practice. Some 20 minutes of home practice here, some meditation there and I couldn’t figure out why I was off, like something was missing from me. And there was my "ah- ha" moment.
I practice because i need to, because without it things can get messy in my life. I practice for clarity. I practice for peace. I practice, so that I'm frankly not a tumultuous bitch. I practice because it keeps me real and makes me toe the line. It reminds me to look inwardly, rather than point fingers. I practice because it shows me my unknown ability as much as my blatantly known incapability. I practice to lose fear. I practice to gain humility. I practice to gain strength in body, in mind, in heart. I practice for me. I practice for you. but mainly me. because on my mat i am. i am. i am. I am enough. I am light. I am graceful. I am open. I am growing. I am learning.
i am me.
I am blooming into a person i want to be, that i know i can be.
And what a marvelous journey it is.
We are all works in progress, my hope is that we may all bloom to our full potential, to be our radiant selves, so that our light may brighten others.
A Blooming Yogini is someone on a journey to their authentic self, a union of mind, body and spirit to a more healthy, thriving , and vibrant you.
Live. Love. Bloom.
Casandra Barnes - The Blooming Yogini