Casandra Barnes - The Blooming Yogini
Guilty as Charged!!
Being a yogi does not mean perfection, we are all on a path, and on that path we are bound to stumble and make some mistakes, right? So here goes, my top 3, in no particular order:
1. Believing My Doubts…
There are times on my mat that I will immediately “write-off” a pose without even trying it because I believe that “my arms aren’t strong enough”, “I’m soooooo not there yet”, or “my body type can’t do that”. I won’t even let my head even try to wrap around the pose. I’ll get into a bit of a pickle of a pose and just watch others attempts or successes. And right there, “successes”, which then leads to my “failures”. I try to get out of the mindset of “I can’t” it’s been a bad habit my whole life. If I don’t TRY, I can’t FAIL. But as the saying goes, “can’t never could”.
2. Falling Into The Trap of Competition and Comparison…
My whole life I’ve been competing and comparing. If I wanted a dance solo, I had to dance better than the other girls. If I wanted a part in the musical or play I had to sing or perform better than the others auditioning. To win karaoke contests I had to one up the competition. To gain attention for my band I had to compare myself to what was already out there performing and be just as good as or better than what they were offering. I always had to be better, try harder than someone else, look a certain way or was always held to someone else’s standard of “good enough”. Maybe that is one of reasons I fell so madly in love with yoga. When I step on my mat, in a room full of people or alone at home, it’s just me and my mat. And in that moment I am enough in every way. I am, I am, I am. It doesn’t always work that way though, there are times I find myself comparing myself to others in the room a lot. It is sometimes hard to get rid of that mindset. To stop being the “performer”. It’s something I’m continuously working on.
3. Not Recognizing That the Prize Is In the Process…
Baron Baptiste explained “sometimes you’ll even feel like your practice is getting worse, but really that is all part of getting better”. I have to admit this is hard to believe most days. You come to a plateau and think you’re never going to be able to do something or bring your practice to the next level. Then one day it happens you notice you can inch into a move deeper than before, then there are days I almost revert back and lose everything I’ve gained. “Take 1 step forward, take 2 steps back”. I can get frustrated and discouraged. There are also times I view a pose as something to be achieved, “a goal to complete”, versus gaining insight or understanding through the process of each pose. As if the achievement of a certain pose will make me a better or more credible yogi. To really tap into what’s going on there in that resistance is a completely new concept. Yet when those small achievements or “wins” come, there is a small celebration going on in my head.
I am constantly learning, consistently growing, continually “blooming” and most always human. Will I ever overcome these “flaws? I don’t know. Maybe just being aware that they are there is enough to work with. “The first step to change is admitting there is a problem”, I am, a constant work in progress.
We are all works in progress, my hope is that we may all bloom to our full potential, to be our radiant selves, so that our light may brighten others.
A Blooming Yogini is someone on a journey to their authentic self, a union of mind, body and spirit to a more healthy, thriving , and vibrant you.
Live. Love. Bloom.